The Spot: Bulletin 1

The unofficial Newsletter of Newent Round Table
20 April 2001

Yes I'm Back

After months of pathetic groveling and begging  letters the chairman has finally stumped up enough cash to bring me back.. I told him it would be easy; Just increase the subs and cream off a slice to keep me sweet. The Round Table finances are always in a mess so nobody will notice.

What a shock I had when I did a quick disguised visit to a recent Round Table meeting. Having not seen many of the older Tablers for some time I was numbed to see the way in which they had changed.

Roger's hair, previously jet black, was now white. Foot and Mouth is having much more effect than I ever imagined.

Tim no longer a tomato magnate is now a multiproperty land lord and a dot-com millionaire. Tim Tom to Tim Dot-Com, Watch out for the ponytail and sandals on Tim.

Rob has had 2 recent outings with Helen I understand. One to that world famous vet specializing in delicate minor operations ( very minor in Rob's case) somewhere near Longhope. The second to her other Long Hope (damn I'm good!) Remember marriage is not a word it is a sentence.

I've had one letter this month, apart from the van loads of fan mail that is, and here it is.

Dear Bob,

As a fairly new tabler one of the pieces of advice given by the older tablers was 'If you ever have a problem just get in touch with Bob, he's sensitive and kind and will help you get on the right track.',. So hear goes.

Its like this Bob, I've developed a bit of a fetish. It started some time ago when my job put young temptation in my way. I managed my urges for some time but things have recently come to a head , so to speak. I persuaded my company to expand into Thailand just so that I could visit and experience the Thai population. What can I do? Those glistening legs, firm thighs and fulsome breasts are driving me wild please help me Bob!!!

Yours anon of Aylton (with the small ears)

Dear anon of Aylton ( I know what you are saying about the ears!)

You pathetic perverted specimen! what you must realize is that there is more to life than chicken, even with those wonderful Thai spices. All you need to do is get your firm to expand into Denmark, those little suckler pigs roasted with monosodiumglutamate and some E121 will start to turn your head. Next expand to New Zealand, fresh young lamb pumped full of hormones, metasodium sulphate and E242 will soon get you back on track. One word of caution, beware of any animal that has been close to Foot and Mouth, or you hair might turn white. Although this could be an improvement in your case.

Yours Bob.

One final overheard conversation to report on this month. It comes from a certain civil servant, you know the one who's wages we pay but who work is so secret that he had to keep the identity of the new RT a president secret.

This was overheard at the White House during the incident when the USA airforce plane collided with a Chinese jet.

Defense secretary 'Mr. President I have the Chinese on the hot line '

President Bush 'In that case I'll have a number 42 with egg fried rice'

And finally........

Don't forget If you meet a Dave Gorman give him a big hello hug from Dave Gorman.

More next month

The SPOT will be issued another bulletin next month. So in the meantime any news, gossip or help with a problem e-mail Bob, always caring, always kind, always there.

The SPOT editor
dear.bob@newent.org


And finally, I would like to thank all those who sent letters to Dear BOB for their kind words of support for the return of The SPOT.

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